It’s been a long time since my Disney vacation. I was about six, so I only really remember bits and pieces of the trip. It was at Disney World and I remember the huge spiky ball which housed Space Mountain. I remember the submarines of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (which, to the best of my knowledge, have now been dismantled), the teacups, getting dizzy enough on Space Mountain to fall over when I was walking out, and the tortuously long lines. We saw the Indiana Jones show and waited in line for hours for various other rides that have since slipped my mind. I remember being happy to see Goofy and getting scared out of my mind when I saw Mickey. I think I still have a Goofy hat around somewhere.

If I had a chance to do it all over again, I don’t think I’d ever go on another Disney vacation. Ever. Though I wanted to go to Disney World when I was a kid, it was never the most important thing in the entire world like it was to some kids. Even so, I have quite a few good, even great, childhood memories. Our Disney vacation doesn’t really make it into any of them. I used to think that it was because I was too young; maybe I really had an amazing time at Disney World and I just don’t remember much of it. This isn’t true though.

I have good memories from before our Disney vacation as well as after; age didn’t make much difference. I suppose there was one really good memory. A woman who was selling balloons at Disney World had a huge mass of balloons in one bunch, there must have been a hundred of them. She let me hold all of them for a minute, and I almost thought I was going to float away. That was probably the best thing that happened to me at Disney World.

The average family going to a Disney resort will spend about $1,000 per day. And for what? That $1,000 will get eaten up in admission costs, parking costs, and, more than anything, eaten in the form of food, drinks, and souvenirs purchased in the park. That’s because just about everything within the walls of Disney is extravagantly expensive unless you’re used to $4 bottles of water. The idea of a Disney vacation is to suck as much money as possible out of a family, preying on the wants of the family’s children. Do your kids a favor and go somewhere else, even if it’s Cooney Island. Even better, see the ocean or the Grand Canyon. Your kids will have more fun, you’ll have more fun, and you won’t be stuck in a magical world where everything is a fantasy created by a huge corporate entity. I won’t use this opportunity to deny your kids a visit to their Disney Land but personally, I think it is overrated.